First Week in France: What Starting Over in Midlife Really Feels Like
When people imagine moving to another country, they picture beautiful cafés, charming streets, and the excitement of a fresh start. What they don’t picture is arriving during a record breaking heat wave, dragging four heavy suitcases through cobblestone streets, getting lost in unfamiliar cities, or realizing the place you rented isn’t going to work.
That was my first week in France.
As stressful as it was, I’m grateful for every bit of it because this move was never just about changing where I live. It was about discovering who I am when everything familiar is stripped away.
Starting Over Doesn’t Require Certainty
One thing I’ve learned in midlife is that we often wait for certainty before making a big decision. We tell ourselves we’ll make the move, leave the relationship, or change our lives once we have every answer. The truth is, that day rarely comes.
At some point, you have to move forward with enough information instead of perfect information. That’s exactly what this move has reminded me.
The Unexpected Is Part of the Journey
I arrived in France during the hottest temperatures the country has ever recorded. I quickly learned that air conditioning here is very different from what I was used to in the United States. Then came the driving. Tiny streets, one way roads, historic districts where cars aren’t allowed, and toll systems I didn’t understand. Every day seemed to bring another unexpected challenge.
That’s the reality of starting over. No matter how much you prepare, there will always be things you simply couldn’t have anticipated.
What This Move Revealed About Me
The biggest surprise wasn’t the logistics. It was what the experience brought up emotionally. I found myself trying to stay small. Speaking quietly. Hesitating to ask for help. Worrying that I was inconveniencing people. I realized this wasn’t really about France. It was an old wound resurfacing. That familiar feeling of not wanting to be a burden. Healing doesn’t mean old patterns never appear again. It means recognizing them before they begin making your decisions.
Kindness Has Been Everywhere
One of the best parts of this experience has been the people. Complete strangers have helped me navigate everything from pumping gas to finding my way around. My new landlord has shown incredible patience as I work through the challenges of moving to another country, and his family has made me feel genuinely welcome. It’s reminded me that sometimes people really do want to help. And it’s okay to let them.
Learning to Live
The apartment I ended up renting is much smaller than what I had in the United States. Years ago, I probably would’ve seen that as a sacrifice. Now it feels like freedom. It’s just me, and I’m realizing I don’t need nearly as much as I once thought I did.
Midlife Is About Becoming More You
I don’t think starting over is about becoming someone new. I think it’s about becoming more authentic. It’s letting go of old expectations, outdated roles, and subconscious patterns that no longer fit the life you’re trying to create. It’s uncomfortable at times, but that’s often where the greatest growth happens.
My Biggest Takeaway
This first week has been stressful, exhausting, exciting, and beautiful all at once.
It hasn’t looked the way I imagined, but maybe that’s the lesson. You don’t have to know exactly who you’re becoming before you stop being who you’ve always been. Sometimes the next version of yourself only appears after you’ve had the courage to take the first step into the unknown.
